Apologies are important, and so much more than saying sorry. YHVH asks us to have a heart of teshuva, of repentance. Not only should we confess our sin to YHVH, but we should apologize to each other. A sincere apology is a healing salve to a hurt relationship. I learned this lesson well this week and would like to share it with you. It’s a bit personal, but I hope that it will be helpful to you the next time you need to apologize.
We have a one week rotating dinner menu. Monday is burger night and has been for a long time. I have to thaw meat, make buns, slice onions, make fries, etc. At 3:45, I realized that I hadn’t made the buns. If you’ve ever made homemade buns, you realize that they cannot be made in one hour and fifteen minutes.
I tend to try to get out of my scrapes rather than face them. I found some onion buns and made a batch of little flatbreads to use for buns. Problem solved, right?
The only problem was that Doug was disappointed in me. I hadn’t even thought about the fact that he is very sensitive to additives and wouldn’t be able to eat the buns. He had been looking forward to my homemade buns all week, and the flatbread was a huge letdown.
I realized at that moment that I had failed him. In my carelessness, I had hurt him deeply. I said I was sorry, but somehow it just didn’t ring true. Doug ate the flatbread, but there was still a huge rift between us.
It was then that YHVH showed me that apologizing is more than saying two little words. There must be a change of heart, a desire to never make that mistake again. We must take responsibility and offer no excuses.
So, being a writer, I wrote Doug an apology note.
I offer no excuse for forgetting the buns. It was careless and does not show you honor. I am very sorry but I don’t expect you to forgive me until I get it right. How should I go about making sure the buns get made? Should I make them ahead, have you remind me, or what? I want to get this right to show you that I love you.
He immediately forgave me. On Tuesday night, I served him the best dinner rolls I have ever made. 🙂
Apologies need to be sincere. We need to take responsibility. We need to make things right and take steps to not make that mistake again. How are you at apologizing? And how have you been teaching your children to apologize?
To learn more, consider reading The Five Languages of Apology: How to Experience Healing in all Your Relationships. I found it very helpful.
Explore this idea of apologizing a bit more with our free repentance printable. Just sign up below to get yours.