Torah Family Living

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Healing, Part 5

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I have really been grappling with the connection between sin and sickness. Last week’s torah portion included Deuteronomy 28, 68 verses of blessings and cursings. If you obey you will be blessed. If you disobey, you will have miscarriages, plagues, terrible itch, boils, etc. It really makes sense when you think about it. The best way to get my attention is to make me feel yucky or in pain. I’ll think twice about doing something if I know it will bring discomfort to me.

So YHVH sends us sickness, disease, pain, when we sin. I have been discovering sins and repenting for two solid months, and I thought I was a good person. I feel lighter and more confident in the throne room with each sin I discard. At first, I set out to get my C-section scar healed. I am still seeking that, but what I have gained as I repented is far better.

I thought I’d list some sins that I had to deal with. If you are in a position where you are also seeking to clean house, perhaps this list will trigger something in your life, too.

Unforgiveness towards my husband
Unforgiveness towards other people that mistreated me
Violation of the niddah laws
Inappropriate entertainment, ie movies
Bitterness
Impatience
Lack of a daily relationship with the Father
Selfishness
How dare you attitude
Unsubmissiveness
Self-righteousness
Blaming others
Laziness
Procrastination
Fear
Unbelief
Failure to apologize

Okay, that’s enough. These sins caused physical problems in my life. Now that I am dealing with them and forsaking them, those physical problems are leaving or improving. And I’m scared to return to those sins. I don’t want headaches that make me nauseous. I don’t want my legs to hurt so much that it’s hard to get out of a chair.

I hope that we all can come out a little purer as we prepare our hearts for the fall feasts. The feasts are more than blowing a shofar and building a sukkah. It’s about becoming a pure and holy bride, ready for the bridegroom. The Father is so merciful. He gives us so much time to repent. But when we delay, we are only hurting ourselves.

Create in me a clean heart, O YHVH; and renew a right spirit within me.
(Psa 51:10)

Shabbat Shalom and happy heart cleaning!

Can’t we just pray?

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Okay, it’s embarrassing.  I’m supposed to be the teacher.  But today my six year old was.

We were supposed to go to the sawmill and pick up some slab wood.  My husband is working on the roof of our sukkah.  I failed to call ahead as I was supposed to, and no one was there.  Much frustration, arguing, unhappiness and just plain yuckiness ensued.

I asked my husband for forgiveness and he was giving me a big hug, when Holly spoke up.

“Mommy, can’t we just pray that the sawmill guy will come home and we can go get the wood?”

“Yes, Holly, that is exactly what we can do.”  And we did.  And guess what?  The sawmill guy came home and we got the wood, at a very good price, too.

Praise YHVH!  Thank you, Holly, for your much needed, though humbling, insight.

My new game

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My mind has been going a bit deep lately.  I’ve been completely engulfed in trying to learn who YHVH is and how to trust Him for everything.  He is slowly showing Himself to me and He is ever faithful.

But I still live on this planet, and I thought I’d make my ever important job of homemaker a little fun today.  So I made up a game called BEFORE AND AFTER.  I know, I’m feeling extremely creative today lol!  So here goes.  This is my BEFORE of my kitchen.

10:40 am
11:00 am
11:30
Okay, my husband came home with groceries and everyone wanted lunch.  So we’re slowing up a bit here.  Don’t they know I’m in the middle of a game?  Praise YHVH for family!
AFTER
12:20
Yay!  I win! And so does everyone else.  A clean kitchen makes everyone happy.
Have a great day brightening your little corner of the world!

Healing, Part 4

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My heart is very full tonight.  I had hoped this would be my last post on healing, but it is not to be.  YHVH told me to make an appointment with my OB when I began praying for healing.  I went to see her today, and fully expected her to find no scar, and be able to give a testimony.  I did indeed give a testimony.  I told her how I have been praying for healing and she was quick to notice that it seems to be vanishing from one side over to the other.  I explained that I was praying for complete healing and she agreed that it would be healed.  I know I did what I was supposed to do, and a major seed was planted in her heart.  Praise YHVH!  But the scar is not completely gone yet.

But my flesh is tempted to wonder.  Did I miss something?  Did I do something wrong?  I exercised faith.  I repented of my sins.  I confessed YHVH before men.  I have praised Him and thanked Him.  As I prayed, I felt very weak in myself.  I shouldn’t feel this way.  YHVH is so good to me.  But I want this blog to be an honest blog.  Even in the Psalms, David often cried out, not understanding, tired of waiting.  YHVH gave us emotions, and He understands.  Our emotions bring us to His feet.  We can crawl up in His lap, and He rocks us for awhile.  We cry and He comforts us.  He gives us words, fitly chosen just for us.  Here are my words, chosen for me.

Wait on YHVH: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on YHVH.

(Psa 27:14)

My Elohim, my Abba, keeps His promises.  He knows what is best and understands things far better than I do.  I’m going to keep hanging on to his tsı̂ytsith, just like the woman with the issue of blood.  He has healed my scar so much already.  He will finish what He started.  Praise YHVH!

Shabbat Shalom everyone!  Have a blessed and restful day.

Healing, Part 3

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Yahshua healed many people, and usually said something to the effect of, “Your faith has made you whole.”

So what is faith?  Is it simply believing?  Is it an emotion?  If I have a weak moment of doubt, is it all over?  I hope not, because in the last 6 weeks, I’ve had some moments of doubt.  My husband would literally get two inches from my face, and say, “By His stripes we are healed.  You are healed.  There is no scar!”  I needed that from him, and I’m very thankful for it.

I’ve been trying to figure out what faith really is.  I did some word study, and went over to Brad Scott’s website, Wild Branch Ministries.  Be sure to check out his free four part article on faith. 

Here is my humble understanding of faith, after much prayer.

The world gives us a picture of many religious roads, all of which lead to the same god.  I think there are many roads, but they all lead to different gods.  How do we know what god a person is heading towards?  By identifying the path they are on.  Each god has certain requirements, and if you are fulfilling their requirements, you are on their path.

YHVH’s path is heading in an opposite direction from the other paths.  What identifies his path?  TORAH!  Who completely embodies torah?  Yahshua the Messiah!  How do you know you are on YHVH’s path?  You follow Yahshua and keep torah. 

Faith is defined by what you do. 
So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead. (Jas 2:17)

Faith is obedience, and trust.  The idea of trusting a father is also implied in the Hebrew word.  Do your children worry about whether they will eat dinner or not?  Or do they show up at the table and expect a plate of food to be put in front of them?  Hopefully they say thank you lol!

The same goes for us.  YHVH promised to care for us and heal us.  He wants us to rely on Him for everything.  Will we trust Him as a little child, expecting to be taken care of, with no questions?  Will we show that YHVH is the god we trust by following HIS path and doing what HE says?

I have had to say out loud that YHVH is the only God that can heal me.  He is the only God that promised to heal me, and I’m going to show I have faith by obeying torah and thanking Him ahead of time for healing me.

YHVH, help my unbelief!  You are the one and only true Elohim!

Healing, Part 2

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My next question while seeking healing was: Why did I have two c-sections? Why did I need healing in the first place?

Scriptures are clear on the reason for sickness and disease. But I don’t think it’s an answer we want to spend too much time on. Of course, we will all admit that sin causes sickness and disease. But it’s a little harder to admit that MY sin caused MY sickness and disease.
Here are some verses I pondered.

Deuteronomy 28:15-68 It lists all the curses YHVH will send to us if we disobey. Note that He does not “allow, “ but rather He causes, brings, sends.

Follow the Israelites on their journey through the wilderness. Who sent the plagues? Who sent the snakes that bit them? Who sent leprosy to Miriam? Who healed her?
It has become quite clear to me that when I get sickness or pain or disease, YHVH sent it as a direct result of my sin. So why did I have a c-section? Once I realized that sin was the problem, my heart was quick to tell me that I lived in fear during that whole first pregnancy. I desperately pleaded with God to make everything go okay. That’s sin. I did not have faith, or trust. I worried to the point of unbelief.
So I repented of that sin, and my scar continued to fade, to the point that I could see a difference from day to day. Praise YHVH! But my journey was not over yet. Stay tuned!

A Prayer for our week

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YHVH, our heavenly Father,

We need you this week.  We want to please you in all we do.  We can’t do anything without you, and we can do all things with you.  We ask you to remember your covenant with us.  You promise us blessing, success, and an abundant life.  We are trying hard to follow your precious Torah.  It is the very essence of life and we choose life.

Sometimes it is hard for us to follow.  We repent for the times this week that we left the narrow path.  Sometimes our house blows up (or so it seems.)  Sometimes we get very frustated with our kids and say things less than edifying.  Sometimes we are lazy and don’t get our work done.  Sometimes we forget to spend time with you, our precious Elohim.  Please forgive us.

We give this week to you.  Take our tongues, and only allow good things to flow from them.  Take our husbands, may we be good helpmeets to them.  Take our children, let us teach them about your Torah.  Help us see the moments when their hearts are soft.  Give us wisdom to deal with them righteously.  Take our homes, and let them be a place of shalom, a place of growth, a place of safety, a place of righteousness.  Help us to be diligent in our calling.

We thank you for the victory!  We thank you for a blessed week that we are about to experience.  You are a wonderful Elohim, and we are honored to serve you.  Thank you!  Thank you!  Thank you!

In Yahshua’s name,
Amein 

Healing, Part 1

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This is about my prayer for healing. Let me give you a little background first. My first baby was born by c-section. My next three were vbacs. Then I had another c-section. I want to have as many children as YHVH blesses me with. My birth history is beginning to work against me.

July 3, 2010, I listened to part of a teaching by Thurman Scrivner. It is called “The Tongue” and can be found at http://tlsm.org/ListenOnline.cgi. His teaching got me thinking. I have spent my entire life basically not believing in modern healings. Healing ministries were considered frauds. Healings only took place at the time of Yahshua. But Thurman was showing scripture that very clearly says YHVH wants to heal us.

But he was wounded for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his stripes we are healed.
(Isa 53:5)

Heal me, O YHVH, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved, for you are my praise.
(Jer 17:14)

If those scriptures are true, then healing is accepted as a matter of fact in scripture. If our five senses don’t line up with scripture, then we need to go with scripture.

Wow, that is amazing! I had this overwhelming sense to ask YHVH to remove my c-section scar and any evidence of a c-section. I prayed the scriptures, claiming them for myself. Talk about a spiritual rush. But the next morning, my scar was still there. Now, looking back, I know that YHVH was planning to use this to teach me a great many things. So the scar was still there, but noticeably softer to the touch. I soon learned that when YHVH heals, he doesn’t always do it instantaneously. Does that make the scriptures not true? No, we just have to keep believing scripture, even though our eyes are telling us something different.

You see, if by Yahshua’s stripes we are healed, then my scar was removed 2000 years ago, when Yahshua took my place on the tree. It’s already done. The natural world just has to catch up with the spiritual.

Praise YHVH! I’ll continue my story in the next post, and I hope it will be a blessing to you.
 
Shabbat Shalom, everyone!

Praise YHVH for my husband!

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I want to take a few minutes and praise YHVH for my husband. 
DISCLAIMER: He’s still a little rough around the edges, but I love him anyway!
I’m very thankful for how he has stepped up to the plate in recent months.  We got a satellite to watch God’s Learning Channel back in January, and since then, I don’t even always recognize him:)  YHVH has a hold of his heart and is speaking to him and teaching him.  He is faithfully praying for us and making sure the kids sit down and listen to the Torah portion every Sabbath.  He has been telling me how he appreciates my work around the house, and the time I spend helping him with his projects.  (This is a recent development, much appreciated.)  He even sat down with our son, Isaac, today, and told him to respect mommy, his wife. 
Thank you, YHVH, for giving me such a wonderful man to travel through life with.  He shows his weaknesses to me, asks for prayer, and apologizes when he’s wrong.  I just hope I am learning to be as good a wife as he is learning to be a good husband.
Halleluyah!
Who are you thankful for today?

My Wishlist

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Okay, when we have a little extra money, here is my list of nice to haves:

a siddur
a tichel from Sowers of Hope
fabric to make a huppah (we want to renew our vows this fall during Sukkot)
Bedtime Shema (a lovely picture book with bedtime prayers for children)
a real menorah
Land of Israel necklaces for my hubby and I
100% linen yardage to make some nightgowns and skirts

and until I have that extra money we shall say :Diyahnu (I don’t know how to spell that lol)
anyway, it means “it is sufficient”

We are truly blessed!

Of chickens and fear

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So my children are all talking about getting to go in and help me pay for chicken feed at the feed store.

My three year old pipes up with, “I not go chickens. Chickens kill me.” Everyone laughed at her cuteness, including her.

But the real truth is that she is terrified of chickens. If she even hears a rooster across the yard, it will send her screaming. We tried to look at the positive, so we took it as an opportunity to teach her older brother to protect his sisters. He now bravely chases off the chickens waving a big stick, and then escorts his sister to safety. Not bad for a five year old.

But fear is a very real obstacle for all of us. We adults call it concern or trepidation, but it’s still fear! We fear for our children’s health and safety. We fear not having enough money to take care of our families. We fear the future. We fear being rejected. We fear not living up to someone else’s expectations. Need I go on?

The Scriptures tell us plenty about fear. First of all, it’s clearly referred to as a sin.

But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death. (Rev 21:8)

Being fearful is listed right up there with murderers. We are told over 300 times not to fear. But when the spies came back from searching out the promised land, they spoke in fear. They gave a bad report to the children of Israel. They believed what they saw instead of believing what YHVH had told them.

What did YHVH tell them? He told them it was a land flowing with milk and honey, a good land where they would be safe and live in peace. But they let fear decide what they would believe, and it cost them 40 years in the wilderness where anyone over the age of 20 died.

So let’s review. What did YHVH say to us? If you have trusted Yahshua and are trying to live in obedience to YHVH’s commands, than you are part of His covenant with Israel. So take some time now and read some of the promises made as part of the covenant.

Start with Genesis 15 and 17. Then jump ahead to Deuteronomy 28. YHVH promised us blessing heaped upon blessing. We need to obey the best we can, and confess our sins quickly when we fail. But He wants good for us, He wants us to have an abundant life. He wants to fulfill all of his promises to us.

Fear is going to get in the way, and it could very well bring on us the very things we fear. Remember, the spies did not believe they could take the land, and they didn’t. We need to get a hold of YHVH’s promises and actually believe that He intends to carry them out. Notice in Rev. 21:8 that unbelief is second in that list of sins. Start listing promises you find in scripture so that your spirit will be saturated with truth, and that spirit of fear will no longer have a home in your heart.

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. (2Ti 1:7)

I have started doing this myself and here are a few verses I have come across.

Keep me as the apple of the eye, hide me under the shadow of thy wings, (Psa 17:8)

The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower. I will call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised: so shall I be saved from mine enemies. (Psa 18:2-3)

Now know I that the LORD saveth his anointed; he will hear him from his holy heaven with the saving strength of his right hand. Some trust in chariots, and some in horses: but we will remember the name of the LORD our God. (Psa 20:6-7)

Proverbs chapter 3 is also full of wonderful promises. They are literally everywhere when you start looking. So everybody, get out your Bibles, and please post any verses in the comments that help you trust YHVH and kick out that spirit of fear.

So, is my three year old feeling any better about chickens? Well, we have taught her to quote scripture while she’s in the pasture. She says, “Yahweh is my shepherd,” in her little three year old voice. But she has to have her chubby little hand in mine the whole time. And that’s okay. I like to hold my Abba’s hand, too.

Need help teaching your children about Torah? We recommend My First Torah.

Blessings and Shabbat Shalom to everyone.

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